December 21, 2006 - Winter Solstice
The holidays are by far the busiest time of year! I think my tank is running on empty, and now I'm on autopilot. I should be asleep, but I wanted to have some downtime after a very vicious circle of cleaning. I believe I have a newfound appreciation for people who do backbreaking labor. You're utterly exhausted, and you're really tired at the end of the day. That's not to say that a mentally streunous day is any less, but a physically exerting day is a whole new thing.
But I was able to get my hair cut today! It's short, and the lady who did it took off a bit more than I wanted her too. But hair grows, and mine'll grow out. It's layered and barely touches my shoulders. If anything, I love how the weight is gone and how I can actually run a comb through it without yanking out my entire scalp.
I think I'm sleepy now . . . But I hope you all have the Merriest of Christmases, and a bright and promising new year in case I'm not able to update between now and January 1st.
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December 12, 2006 - There's a particular delicacy to life. It's so fragile you're hardly aware of it until it's gone and done with, and only then do you realize just how much it means, and how important it is to really appreciate those around you. One of my friends lost her best friend to Cystic Fibrosis. It's almost Christmas. What family should have to bury their daughter so close to the holidays? What family should have to bury their own daughter period? It seems cruel, and so unfair. I always try to focus on the bigger picture, like maybe this girl chose this life and sickness so that she could work through her karma and evolve, and be better for it. Maybe she was teaching others how to deal with death at a young age. Maybe she was supposed to be inspiring and an example of bravery. But all of that left me, and when I found out, all I could do was cry.
I never knew her, or her family. I didn't befriend her, or share any jokes or laughter with her. I knew absolutely nothing, save for the fact that she mattered beyond anything else to my friend. And now she's gone. Normally something like this wouldn't hit me that hard. But for whatever reason, I felt like it was someone I knew, and I just cried. I started to think how terrible it would be if I had to endure the loss of anyone I cared about.
If anything, it made me feel so lucky and blessed to have the people I do, and to love them while they're here. Because one day, they won't be. My friends have always helped, and continue to help whenever something's amiss, and even when things are fine, there they are, wishing me well.
And if you're reading this, Alex, I want you to know just how much you mean to me. There are people who, in such simplicity, can turn the darkness towards the light. And in just a few words you can make it all right again. I am amazed at you. Amazed at your stamina and strength, and your ability to keep trying - your patience. I know it's not always easy. I know it can hurt sometimes. But for what it's worth, I know I'd be lost without you. Your friendship & love is a rare thing to come by.
Girl: Jana (Jay-na). 21. 5'5". Brown eyes, brown hair. Half Indian, Half Caucasian. Night owl. Tea addict. College senior. Psychology Major. Interests: Dancing, Writing, Stargazing, Running, Swimming, Photo editing, Reading, Cooking, Astronomy, Tea, Metaphysics, Museums, Science, Medicine, Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Music, Movies, Ice Skating, Bowling, Tennis, Drawing, Calligraphy, Art Galleries, Stained Glass, Piano, Watercolors, London, Paris. Loves: Snow, Rain, Seasons, Photoshop, Web Design, Surprises, Great Novels, Classical/ New Age Music, Trying out new recipies, Traveling to new places, The beach, Mountains, Seattle, Finding little hole-in-the-wall shops, Jelly beans, Comfortable sweaters, Christmastime, Dancing with mops/brooms, Scrapbooking (my God, it's addicting). Thought-provoking conversation, Walks, Being creative, Hats, Most things fuzzy.
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